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By Elissa Bernstein
“Here are your messages,” Derek’s secretary Tina said.
Derek grabbed the messages without looking up and headed to his office.
His friend Andy poked his head in and whispered. “Since when has Tina become so gorgeous?"
Derek focused on his files. “I didn’t notice. Besides, I’m a happily married man with three kids and…”
Andy coughed as Tina sashayed through the door.
Derek took one look and gasped. Tina had traded in her peasant skirts and cardigan sweaters for a low cut sheer blouse and a mini skirt.
“Here’s the mail,” Tina said innocently.
“Th-thanks T-Tina,” Derek stuttered.
Tina smiled coyly. “I think every woman deserves a little makeover after a divorce.”
Derek and Andy followed the sway of Tina’s incredible curves as she sauntered away.
“What a babe,” Derek was dazed. “But I’m happily married…right?”
A few weeks later, Derek told Andy. “Tina and I have to work late on the Franklyn project.”
Andy raised an eyebrow.
Derek balked. “Nothing is going to happen.”
Meanwhile, Tina was gushing to her best friend on the phone. “This could be the night.”
That evening, Tina and Derek tried to focus on the project.
Suddenly, their eyes locked. Without saying a word, they moved toward each other. And kissed.
“I shouldn’t, Tina…”
“Then don’t, Derek…”
“I want to…I want you…”
Rumors of their affair quickly circulated around the office.
“Did you see the way she picked lint off his suit?”
“She even goes on business trips with him.”
Andy showed up at Derek’s office. “You were supposed to look, not touch!”
“We’re in love,” Derek shrugged his shoulders. “I left my wife last week. Tina and I are getting married.”
Suddenly, the piercing voice of a spurned wife filled the office complex. “WHERE IS THAT HOME WRECKER!?!”
Derek was horrified. “It’s my wife, Andrea!”
Andrea stormed over to Tina’s desk. “HOW COULD YOU BREAK UP MY FAMILY! YOU’RE GOING TO PAY!” Andrea threw legal papers in her face.
Andrea sued Tina for alienation of affection.
In court, Andrea dabbed her eyes with tissue. “Your Honor, my husband used to write me love songs. Tina destroyed my fairy tale marriage with her scanty clothes and shameless flirting. It seems she had him over at her apartment all the time. That’s why Derek started ignoring his family. Make Tina pay damages. And punitive damages too since she flaunted the affair!”
Tina adjusted her mini skirt. “Your Honor, it takes 2 to tango. I never held a gun to Derek’s head. Love just happens and sometimes people get hurt. But that doesn’t mean I owe her money. And I never flaunted the relationship in her face. She didn’t even know about it!”
Does Tina owe money for alienation of affection? You! be the Judge. Then look below at the court’s decision.
“Tina owes one million dollars, half as punitive damages,” held Judge Michael as Tina fainted from shock. “Your actions were the controlling cause of the breakup. The punitive damages are for flaunting the affair at the office.”
Newspaper readers have been enjoying the You! be the Judge column for more than 15 years.
Finally, we hit the screen!
Madcap, over-the-top comedy and musical sketches based on actual court cases combining the sitcom, the courtroom drama, and the whodunit. You’ll laugh! And you’ll learn!
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